You are not born with a growth mindset. You need to cultivate optimism. It’s strength depends on the choices you make every day. Every choice has a consequence, whether positive or negative. But, to grow, you must choose based on the direction you want to go, not just on the circumstances you face at the time.

A seedling reaches for the sunlight. Sometime, a seed finds itself in a place of darkness, such as under a rock, behind a lattice that blocks the sun, or deep within the earth. It has to grow towards light to survive and thrive. Without the light, it will die. Just like the seed, you must reach for the positive in our lives, Envision the future as you want it to be, and truly believe it will happen. This is your sunlight. It creates the path to success. Having a negative attitude does the opposite.

Become aware of the scripts you are using.

Are you using words of encouragement or discouragement? Enabling growth or fostering stagnation? Choose your words carefully.

Failure is a steppingstone to success.

You don’t really fail, you learn. You get one step closer. But how many times do you need to be reminded of your weakness before you give up? Your natural inclination is to complain. The growth mindset is different. It isn’t going to get easier or better until you enjoy this. Find a way to break it down into its smallest possible steps. Then celebrate once you achieve them. Change has to feel good or you won’t make it through to the end.

Focus on what’s important to you

Find your “why” and you will figure out the “how” and the “what”. It’s in there. Ask yourself the 5 why’s. People lie to others and to themselves to protect them from getting hurt. No one wants to try and fail. But if you dig deep down to the core reasons of why you want to change, you will find that nothing can stop you.

1.Why am I doing this?

To lose weight.

2.Why do you want to lose weight?

To look good for my next vacation.

3.Why do you want to look good for your next vacation?

I’m not getting any younger, it’s about time.

4.Why is it time?

Because Dad got sick around the same age. I’m afraid that I’m not taking care of myself well enough.

5.Why are you afraid that you’re not taking care of yourself?

Because I put everyone first before me. I don’t have anything left over for me. No time, no energy, to motivation. I’m hopeless.

If you chose to lose weight for #5, and work on those issues, think about how much more motivated you will be when you turn the negative script into a positive one.